EUGENE’S CASE STUDY
Eugene is a high achiever.
He’s motivated to excel at work, well-rewarded for his work ethic, and well-liked for his positive energy.
But beneath the surface Eugene struggled with a constant discomfort in his own skin, as well as a deep martyr complex – believing that he needed to put everyone else’s needs ahead of his, a textbook “Nice Guy”. This was particularly the case with his wife, where he found himself in a loving, but codependent relationship.
Feeling that he needed to capitulate to her plans, desires, schedule, etc., he often swallowed his truth. As a result he felt dominated by her and built up many layers of resentment that resulted in his emotional withdrawal and disconnection. Predictably, he fell out of touch with his masculine core and their sex life diminished significantly.
This also impacted his social life. He spent so much time and energy on the needs of his partner that he had little desire to invest in other important and nourishing relationships.
In addition to this, Eugene couldn’t shake the constant feeling that something bad was always about to happen… that soon the shoe would drop and everything would fall apart.
Through our work together Eugene saw how in constantly seeking approval and validation from his wife he’d deeply eroded not just her trust, but her sexual desire for him.
Professionally she was a strong, capable leader, but she didn’t want to have to caretake her husband too. She wanted the option to relax into her femininity at home, and trust that things would be handled.
Eugene began to step into his masculine confidence by prioritizing his own self care, expressing his needs and desires, and taking the lead with decisions that he’d previously allowed to fall onto his wife.
After just three months of coaching together Eugene showed up to his session overcome with enthusiasm at how incredible his life had become in every way.
Communication with his wife had reached whole new levels of honesty, and contrary to his fears she was grateful and inviting of his truth. It relieved a burden that she’d been carrying for a long time. As emotional intimacy reached new depths their sexual connection also began to erupt into a place they hadn’t experienced in years.
Even outside of his relationship, Eugene overflowed with enthusiasm over amazing new friendships that supported and nourished him, and how completely excited he was about every facet of his life!
He knows that the self-doubt and mistrust will appear occasionally, but his relationship to them has massively changed. He now has the option to acknowledge these thoughts and feelings, and come back into the balanced well-being and confidence that is his new norm.